sometimes its easier saying you don't care
than explaining every reason you do <3
WOW. SO IT'S MOST DEFINITELY BEEN A VERRY LONG TIME SINCE REALLY ANYONE UPDATED. I GUESS EVERYONE'S JUST TOO COOL FOR XANGA ANYMORE. BUT SINCE THAT'S THE CASE, I CAN WRITE && NO ONE WILL KNOW! :] I KNOW, I'M SO SNEAKY L0L! :] BUT UMM LET'S SEE!
THIS SUMMER I WENT TO CAMP. GOT TO KNOW EVA BETTER. HAD A BLAST WITH ALL MY FRIENDS AT SENIOR && FAMILY CAMP. SANG EVERYNIGHT. STARTED WORK ON THE 5TH. [[REED'S BIRTHDAY]] MOVED TO THE BOONIES. GOT A NEW BEDROOM SUITE. GOT A NEW CAR. STARTED HANGING OUT WITH THE BESTEST CUZ IN THA WHOLE WORLD. [[LOVEE YOU ASH]] GOT A NEW PHONE CAUSE APPARENTLY IM PRONE TO FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE THAT I GET. KODA [MY big DOG] HURT HIS CORNEA SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS. THEN THE NEXT WEEK KLOE[BESTEST DOG EVER] GOT BIT BY A SNAKE!! SHE'S STILL ALIVE THOUGH! :] OOHH.. I GOT A POOH BEAR FROM BUILD-A-BEAR! :]
AS SOME OF YOU GUYS KNOW... MY YOUTH PASTOR && HIS WIFE LEFT US OR ME IN MAY OF THIS YEAR. MAY 26 TO BE EXACT. ANYWAYS.. IVE HAD SOO MANY FEELINGS TOWARDS && ABOUT THIS SINCE THEY'VE LEFT. I'VE BEEN MAD. HAPPY. SAD. UPSET. DEPRESSED. EXCITED. EVERYTHING. THERE'S BEEN SO MANY, IT'S HARD FOR ME TO KEEP UP WITH THEM ALL. I KNOW THAT THEY'RE HAPPY. THEY DESERVE THIS. BUT IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!! IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T EVEN MISS ME OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. I KNOW KARA IS KIND OF HAPPY CAUSE SHE'S WITH HER FAMILY, CHURCH && FRIENDS. CHRIS IS HAPPY TO BECAUSE HE'S AWAY FROM ALL OF US! :] CHRIS GOT AN EC && HE LINKED TO ME. HIS DESCRIPTION WAS" SERVED AS HER YOUTH PASTOR IN ALABAMA" UGH! I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE OFFENDED BY THAT OR NOT. I'M REALLY TRYING TO NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT BECAUSE I KNOW HE DIDN'T OR WOULDN'T DO ANYHTING INTENTIONALLY TO HURT ME. BUT GAHHH.. FOR SOME REASON MY FEELINGS ARE HURT. BUT I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY. AHHH!! :]
AS LIKE EVERYONE REALLY SHOULD KNOW MY BESTIES ARE KENKEN. TIPPY. DEWAYNE. BIGSEXii. CHRIS. WELL THERE'S A STORY WITH ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! UMM... I'M APPARENTLY A REALLY BAD FRIEND TO SOMEONE WHO I REALLY CARED ABOUT. I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT I WAS A LIAR BUT I GUESS I AM. I WISH I COULD MAKE THAT PERSON REALIZE THAT I TRULY AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED. I REALLY DO CARE FOR && ABOUT THIS PERSON. I WOULD NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING TO INTENTIONALLY UPSET THEM OR MAKE THEM MAD. THEY WERE MY BESTEST FRIEND. I DID EVERYTHING WITH THEM. EVERYTHING. NOW I NEVER SEE THEM. NEVER REALLY TALK TO THEM. && WHEN I DO IT'S WEIRD BECASUE I KNOW THAT THEY DON'T SEE ME THE WAY THEY USED TO. I FEEL LIKE I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO PLEASE THEM SO THAT MAYBE THEY WON'T HATE ME. && MABYE JUST MAYBE I CAN MAKE THEM HAPPY SO HAPPY THAT I END UP PAYING FOR WHAT I DID. WHICH BY THE WAY, HAS YET TO BE EXPLAINED TO ME. BUT I KNOW FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. THERE IS AN EMPTY SPACE THAT ONLY ONE PERSON CAN FEEL && IM TRULY && SINCERLY SORRY FOR EVERY && ANYTHING THAT I HAVE DONE. I'M NOT PERFECT. WHICH IS NOT AN EXCUSE I KNOW. WHETHER THIS PERSON KNOWS IT OR NOT I REALLY AM SUFFERING FROM THE LOSS OF THIS FRIENDSHIP. I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEN IM NOT UPSET BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY. IT IS WHAT IT IS. THEY'VE MOVED ON WITH THEIR LIFE. PAINTED A NEW PICTURE && THIS TIME I DIDN'T GET DRAWN.
CHURCH HAS BEEN KIND OF AKWARD [SP] LATELY. IM TRYING REALLY HARD && I REALLY JUST WISH THAT THE CHAINS && BONDS THAT HAVE A HOLD OF OUR CHURCH WILL JUST BREAK && GO AWAY. I REFUSE TO LET THE DEVIL RUN ME AWAY FROM MY HOME. MY REFUGE. HE JUST CAN'T. THE BIBLE SAYS "WHEN YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN DO... STAND" && THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IM DOING && GOING TO DO. BUT BEST BELIEVE I HAVE MY SWORD && SHIELD RIGHT BY MY SIDE!! :]
WELL, SCHOOL STARTS THE 14TH. IM KIND OF EXCITED. BUT THERE AGAIN I WANTED THESE NEXT TWO YEARS TO BE ALL ABOUT ME && MY BESTIE.. BUT UMM IM NOT SURE IF THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. IM WILLING TO PUT THIS BEHIND US, MOVE ON && LEARN FROM IT && GROW FROM IT. I WONDER IF THEY ARE TOO? BUT UMM.. I "RETIRE" FROM WORK ON THE 11TH. BACK TO SCHOOL RALLY IS THIS WEEKEND [4TH-5TH] IM EXCITED. I HAVE FRIENDS STAYING WITH ME. :] OBVIOUSLY I'VE WRITTEN FAR TOO MUCH POINTLESS THINGS THAT NO ONE BUT GOD CAN TRULY HELP ME WITH. LOVEE YOU GUYS.
-BRiANNA- | 
